The Weekly Splash
Testing Every New Rule
No Ties
Sorry Andy, you’re the first person to experience the new rule change. Alvin Kamara was able to turn back the clock a bit on Monday Night Football and help you claw your way back into it. I’ll be honest… when I sent out the Monday Night Report, I didn’t think anyone had a chance to make any sort of comeback to make the game more interesting. I didn’t even realize that a tie had happened until the chat started blowing up. It did make my heart flutter when I saw unprompted text messages in the league chat. Let me explain the rule to those who weren’t paying attention in the offseason or didn’t know what they were voting on. With the home-field advantage, you’re getting 3 points. If you still somehow manage to tie, we can’t in good faith make the away team suffer, as they would have already beaten you. Horn correctly stated that this is more of a 2.999999999999-point home-field advantage. So we were .000000000001 points away from anarchy, as Sully would have had the first W that became an L. The positive is that we rarely hear from Sully, so he probably wouldn’t have given anyone a hard time. It was also a bit of a pillow fight, so neither of you should have felt bad about taking an L. I’m allowed to say that since I didn’t do much better.
Another First
You guys are making me work this week. As the league has always been played between honorable men (at least since I’ve taken over), we’ve had the occasional reminder to switch out players on other teams’ rosters. That kind of respect is much appreciated and saves a lot of uncomfortable conversations when some teams get to play against half-complete rosters. With all of that said, there is a relatively recent rule that if the commissioner needs to make a switch after games have gone live, the newly substituted player is ineligible to contribute points toward the weekly bonus. This is another one that I thought wouldn’t happen for a few seasons, but of course it happened in Week 4… the extra bonus week. Carnell Tate was a late substitution, and he went off for 25.5 points. If we remove his points from the 195.7, Sean’s Team falls to 170.2, slightly below the Cum Dynasty’s 174.4. Here’s what I’m going to do. The bonus will be moved in the accounting records to the second-place team this week: the Cum Dynasty. As the Dynasty seems to be racking up weekly bonuses already this season, maybe they’ll throw you a bone at the end of the season. Cum, you don’t need to make the decision now. You can dangle the carrot in front of him all season, see if he’ll start incomplete lineups against you, or even carry the bonus into your head-to-head matchup this week. It’s your call and your bonus this week.
New Stats
Since this is a weird week with a lot of firsts happening, I’m going to take this moment to highlight some new stats I’ve added to the weekly recaps (for those of you who read this far). For anyone in Sleeper leagues, I think they do something similar. We now have weekly efficiency metrics, which will look at how much better or worse you performed compared to those horrible MFL projections and how well you did at picking the optimal lineup. This week, Sean’s Team far exceeded its expected points by 55.5. This was mostly driven by Carnell Tate and CeeDee Lamb’s ridiculous stat line of 17 catches for 189 yards and a touchdown. CeeDee did actually leave points on the table by rushing one time for -6 yards. Sean’s Team played the most underperforming team, With My Testicles, who missed their original projection by 27 points. Not surprisingly, Sean’s Team also played its optimal lineup and was the most efficient manager this week. McCumdumpsters was number 2 with 96.1% accuracy… he still got it in the butt from Allison, though, so his whole team just sucked this week. That’s all that stat is telling us. Hoes Before Joes was the least efficient manager and actually had a potential total of 240.4 points this week, which would have been the second-highest weekly total in league history. Instead, she put up 160, which was luckily still more than enough to take out the Dumpsters. Alright, no weekly bonus section this week since I mentioned it before. Good luck to all in Week 5.
Weekly Awards
Week 4- 1
Seans TeamOver140.2 → 195.7+55.5 - 2
JaVonTe Piece Of Me144.1 → 169.4+25.3 - 3
The Cum Dynasty154.1 → 177.4+23.3 - 4
Hoes Before Joes147.6 → 163.0+15.4 - 5
JSN Bourne152.3 → 156.0+3.7 - 6
CeeDees or Tapes130.3 → 117.3−13.0 - 7
McCumDumpsters129.7 → 115.8−13.9 - 8
Purdy Bad 134.7 → 117.3−17.4 - 9
The Caucasians131.6 → 107.8−23.8 - 10
With My TesticlesUnder151.9 → 124.9−27.0
- 1Seans TeamMost195.7 / 195.7100.0%
- 2McCumDumpsters115.8 / 120.596.1%
- 3JSN Bourne156.0 / 163.495.5%
- 4The Caucasians107.8 / 117.491.8%
- 5The Cum Dynasty177.4 / 194.991.0%
- 6JaVonTe Piece Of Me169.4 / 191.888.3%
- 7With My Testicles124.9 / 145.286.0%
- 8CeeDees or Tapes117.3 / 142.482.4%
- 9Purdy Bad 117.3 / 153.076.7%
- 10Hoes Before JoesLeast163.0 / 240.467.8%
Power Rankings
Formula Breakdown
- All-Play Win % 40%
- Points For (Norm) 30%
- Win % 20%
- Consistency 10%
"How often you beat the league (All-Play), how much you score (PF), your actual winning percentage, and the stability of your weekly scoring (Consistency). A higher Consistency score means your weekly output has low variance."
| Rank / Franchise | Score | All-Play | Record | PF |
|---|---|---|---|---|
1 | 84.79 | 26-10-072.2% | 4-0-0100.0% | 658.386.3 |
2 | 84.45 | 28-8-077.8% | 4-0-0100.0% | 697.5100.0 |
3 | 61.61 | 24-12-066.7% | 1-3-025.0% | 626.375.2 |
4 | 60.56 | 20-16-055.6% | 3-1-075.0% | 571.756.2 |
5 | 59.17 | 21-15-058.3% | 3-1-075.0% | 609.869.4 |
6 | 53.57 | 22-14-061.1% | 1-3-025.0% | 616.871.9 |
7 | 49.72 | 18-17-151.4% | 1-2-137.5% | 579.258.8 |
8 | 37.02 | 12-23-134.7% | 1-2-137.5% | 511.335.1 |
9 | 22.10 | 6-30-016.7% | 1-3-025.0% | 465.119.0 |
10 | 11.66 | 2-34-05.6% | 0-4-00.0% | 410.50.0 |
Bonus Payouts
YTD WinningsPayouts calculated based on weekly high scores and bonus weeks.